As I grow 

In the beginning it all seems fresh and new
Fun experiences with lots of things to do
You have your families love surrounding you
And then still suddenly you brave the world alone
Excited feelings, sadness, fear and joy are blown
Suddenly you find your rhythm, you get into the flow
Your faced with challenges and lessons as you go to and fro
Bonds are formed and your happy to make new friends
Walking through life you meet all the interesting people god sends
You may get hurt by some but carry on, keep going still things to do
All the while trying to find you and trying to still stay true
Being pulled by the hussle and bussle of life
Echoed words: “Finish school, get a job,and some day be a wife”
As I get older I’m calmer and wise
I’ve learned to take the bad,good, lows and the highs

Singing like a bird

Happy like a blue jay

It may rain

But inside my heart is full of sunny days

I love my life

I love my friends

I love parents

I love my siblings

I love my niece and nephews

I’m happy today

Don’t be fooled by my tired face

I’m rather awake

Just happy

My mind open

My minds eye awake

Have a nice day we all adore you

Fancy you
I hope you feel my smile even when I’m away.
Do you dance? Yes, I prance on my non-perfect feet.
Feel the energy, you see, it gets deep.
I shake and waddle and even weep.
Now you know I’m as innocent as little Bo Peep.
I always was the black sheep.

It was the weekend after 9/11/2001, my family and I went to Skips in Merrimac. I had a psychotic break. I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but I do remember going to the hospital with my dad. I was then admitted to a children’s psych ward in Amesbury. I was a freshman in high school. School had been tough that year so far. While in the hospital I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Once home I went back to school and kept struggling. The following January I became extremely depressed. I ended back at the hospital I was in, in September. After this hospitalization it would be ten years until I was hospitalized again. I did many things in those ten years including: graduating from high school, graduating from two colleges, and getting my CNA license. However once I did these thing I struggled again getting a job and being able to hold on to it. After being hospitalized in 2012, my mom found the Clubhouse. I was a young adult and I had little hope of staying at the clubhouse because I felt it was not for me at first. However, I started working in the administration unit. My job was to file every member’s monthly notes. I learned how build stamina to get a job. I treated the clubhouse like a job, I would come in at 9 and leave at 1 every day. In 2015 that payed off. I was offered a job at the clubhouse as the administrative assistant. However, struggles came again. I was hospitalized in 2018 due to depression. This time was different I had the clubhouse behind me. After that hospitalization I went back to my job. Then in September of 2018 I lost my best friend, my grandfather. It was one of the hardest times in my life and clubhouse once again stood behind me.

Back in 2012 when I started at the clubhouse I did not realize how lucky I was to have the family I do, but I gained a second family also. The clubhouse is my second family. I would not be where I am without them. When living with my cousin in 2017 he got two kittens. He then left and the cats became mine. However, when my grandmother made the decision to move to Florida I became homeless and a friend from the clubhouse stepped up and agreed to help me. This member has not only been my friend, neighbor, but now I consider her a sister, who I can count on and talk to about anything. This clubhouse has achieved many goals together as a family. I went from having little hope of staying at the clubhouse to realizing what a special family I have here.

As Winston Churchill once said, “Never, Never, Never Give Up” I have lived by this quote since I heard it. Once I left the clubhouse as a staff I did not give up. I got another job and left that one and go to another, however, neither have worked out and the clubhouse has been behind me every step of the way. Now I am starting a new journey at Canobie Lake Park. I know no matter what the clubhouse will be behind me every step of the way. I know there will always be struggles, but in the end if you family, and friends there is no way you can give up.

“Where I Feel Most Like Me”

I feel like myself when I’m with the ones I love— their laughter softens the hard edges, their presence brings me home. I feel whole when I’m not alone in the fight, but surrounded by helping hands and hearts that shine with hope. I come alive when there’s music playing, when a favorite meal is in front of me, when I’m laughing at the table with people who see me. It’s in those moments not grand, but real that I remember who I am, and who I’ve always been. I am not my injury. I am not what I’ve lost. I am still here loved, uplifted, and true

“What You Ought to Know About Autism”

I am autistic, but don’t go ballistic
RFK said I couldn’t write a poem, but this will show him

Autism is a disability with more visibility
It has increased prevalence due to research and evidence

Autistic people are on a spectrum, no one person can reflect them
There is much variance in the autistic experience

Some are non-verbal, that should not be a hurdle
Accommodate the way they communicate

Some are audible, which is laudable
Support what they report

Autism is invisible, Autism is indivisible
Get more exposure to autism disclosure

Stop the stigma, Autism is not an enigma
Don’t be adverse to the neurodiverse

Spread awareness
Promote kindness and fairness

Autistic people should not run and hide
Autistic people should have pride

We want to be accepted
We want to be respected

We can do can do many things
We can do anything

Our goals are plausible
Our dreams are possible

Listen to the CDC, not Washington DC
RFK, I’m A-OK

And the next time you say autistic people can’t write a poem,
You should get to know them